Dad's Back

Practicality and personal growth have always gone hand-in-glove in my caregiving experiences. If I was an emotional wreck at the start, my feet eventually became firmly planted on the ground and I have continued to build on this foundation ever since.

That is why the behaviors of so many people lately have been perplexing. I keep wondering if I am seeing people as they are (dramatically different compared to the days before the pandemic) or has just my perspective of them changed?

Am I losing my mind or is it everyone else?

Are public figures more cartoonish now or did I just miss these non-adult characteristics before?

Don’t get me wrong, I feel competent to navigate this strange new and developing social world, but I cannot help but feel a certain amount of disappointment.

I used to trust and hold others in much higher esteem. I cannot do that anymore.

Responsibilities-R-Us

I have become aware of my rationality, in the face of surrounding irrationality. I find that by deliberately highlighting my responsibilities “to” other people – not responsibilities “for” them, so many of the challenges that people are railing against these days, are suddenly in perspective.

Much of this definition arose from one of the classic themes in caregiving. Namely when the one we care for continues to take poorly considered actions, we approach the solution(s) objectively. Whether the individual is responding to a scam pitch, or walking away from a lighted stove-top burner, our job is to keep them safe. Safe from others, safe from dangerous situations, and all too often, safe from themselves.

A popular social (and political) trend right now is to absolve the individual of personal responsibilities and allow other groups to determine realities. The fact that such groups rarely have the best interests, or the competencies, to do so, is ignored.

In my world, I am ultimately responsible for everything in my world, until circumstances change such that I am no longer capable. Until that day, please take your efforts to control my circumstances and apply them constructively to those who can most benefit.

I am good.

As a footnote, while I value language as an empowering tool, the recent public weaponization of language is an exception. Especially when liberally seasoned with vulgarities and delivered at high volume.

When language is used towards de-constructive ends, with no discernible goals beyond being disruptive, and fluidity of definitions change from moment to moment, I rationally choose not to play.

Attitude is Still Everything

I am still confounded by popular perspectives that propose that the universe is broken (as defined by the speakers of such ideas), supporting evidence of these views is consciously avoided (just take our word for it instead), and that we are helpless to do anything about it.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

My self-esteem is much stronger than that.

Starting with a premise of negatives (i.e., things/people are broken), whether the concepts are real or imagined, while coincidentally offering a solution of the speakers own making, all smacks of a solid marketing plan, not reality.

Reality, no matter what it offers, does not care whether you like it, much less whether you approve. As the saying goes, it is what it is.

I am not a Pollyanna, seeing and sharing how wonderful life is. I just find that a positive and constructive attitude towards solving the challenges that life provides a more effective response than crying in my beer, so to speak. Acceptance of what is, and a healthy disregard for what is not, can take us much further down a constructive path.

I acknowledge that I am still human, with all the wishful thinking from the days of my childhood. While my ego wishes that circumstances were different, I check that and remind myself to get over myself. The universe does not revolve around any ideas I might have in my head. In fact, the universe is completely indifferent to what I think and feel.

It is what it is.

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.”
― Harper Lee