The world of a caregiver is dramatically divided between taking care of the business-at-hand on the outside and the turmoil of emotion on the inside. Life lessons come hard and I find that sharing is helpful, both for me and those who are also on the journey. Part therapy and part instructional, I hope some of my experiences are of value to the reader.
The Caregiver’s Paradox: Finding Power When You Feel Powerless
If you are currently caring for a loved one, you already know that “survival mode” isn’t just a phase—sometimes, it feels like the entire job description. In the thick of managing medications, navigating doctors’ appointments, and balancing your own life, it is incredibly easy to feel entirely powerless. The sheer volume of daily challenges can…
You’ve Been Promoted!
There’s a moment in dementia caregiving that no one really prepares you for. Not the diagnosis, not the paperwork, not even the first time you have to explain what a “remote control” is… again. It’s the quieter realization that somewhere along the way, the roles have flipped. You’re no longer just the child. Congratulations, you’ve…
Caregiving and the Quiet Discipline of Growing Up
Some days, scrolling through social media feels less like catching up with the world and more like wandering into a middle school cafeteria with no adult supervision. Grown adults—people who presumably manage mortgages, raise children, and operate motor vehicles—sling insults, dodge responsibility, and perform outrage with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for toddlers denied…
When Anger and Language Come with Dementia
One of the most jarring moments in dementia caregiving is not just the anger. It is the language. A parent who never swore suddenly uses profanity. A spouse who was always gentle blurts out crude or shocking words. The once-reserved loved one yells something that feels completely out of character. If this has happened to…
So Many Ways We Say Goodbye
When people think about caregiving, they often imagine the big, heavy moments: medical appointments, medications, emergencies, end-of-life decisions. What doesn’t get talked about as much are the smaller, quieter skills we develop along the way—the ones that don’t come with instructions but shape us just as deeply. One of those skills is learning how to…
The Impermanence of Things
I have posted about loss before, as it concerns family and caregiving. Loss of personhood of a loved one due to the ravages of dementia. Loss of who we, the caregivers, were before the demands of the job changed us. There is also the ultimate loss to death that we know approaches but work so…
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Dad's Back 