Providing Sense
With all the tomfoolery being presented expanded upon in society these days, providing some sense, some feelings of safety and security, is a worthy and constructive cause. As caregivers, it is something we already know how to do well.
Language, Please
You may notice the active tense of the phrase, providing sense. If there is anything more dynamic that we learn from caregiving, it is to be proactive. Taking the wreckage of our situations and finessing them into something constructive – and active.
Caregiving, by definition, involves interceding in another’s life to guide and protect them when they are unable or unwilling to do so for themselves. It can sound heroic but what we are guiding and protecting are the fundamental aspects of another person’s life.
We make them feel safe.
Our Friend Maslow
Maslow’s hierarchy is something many of us probably encountered in a psych class in college. Abraham Maslow proposed that people have structured innate needs, the basics of which are physical (air, water, food, shelter) and safety (personal security, health). More refined personal characteristics are built upon these basic needs. As with any structure, the foundation must be sound for the structure to be sustainable.
Our role in caring for others starts at this basic level. We help people feel safe. We guard against threats and build security. We also provide for some interpersonal needs (everyone still needs hugs!), but our primary mission is to keep people safe and make sure they know it, if possible.
Society Has Glitched
Our post-pandemic world now gives us perspective on what we have done, and reason to question what we are currently doing. If we don’t periodically stop and reflect on our own actions, we are failing ourselves and those who depend upon us.
So much of the noise coming from national conversations has the sounds of fear. Fear has been preached by numerous individuals over the course of the last few years, but the crisis has passed, we survived when others did not, and it is time to grow from the experience.
We need to provide that sense that has been missing for so long.
Others still advertise that they are our salvation and will be taking care of everyone’s needs. If they have not already done so, they are not coming.
Talk is always cheap.
The authenticity of authority is certainly questionable. Time to move on with meeting the needs of ourselves and those for whom we care.
Restoring Safety
Our world presents us with situations in which our safety has been threatened. As Maslow indicated, if we don’t feel safe, the rest of our personal world is on shaky ground.
I can hear the doomsayers now. Taking on this task of making others (and ourselves in the process) feel secure again is too much for me. I am not enough.
For the caregivers in the crowd, I want to remind you that such insecurity has never stopped us before. We have led the charge when feeling far less than 100% confident in our abilities.
Uncertainties are us. We are courageous.
Call to Action
Let’s take charge of this situation that our national leadership has fumbled so badly (or just flat run away from). We can leave the deficiency mentality behind and separate the cons from the constructive.
We can teach confidence instead of hysteria. Align our speech and actions so that we are once again congruent.
Let’s build that security that has filtered away these past few years. We are not passengers in these life events but players in the game. We do have some control, and we certainly feel the responsibility.
Let’s provide sense.
Yes I’m seeking for someone, to help me. So that some day I will be the someone to help some other one.”
― Vignesh Karthi