Did We Lose Someone?

In one of Life’s abundant ironies, my father never knew the person I became because of him. Growing up, Dad tried to direct my development along paths he thought best, but he found a particularly frustrating subject in me. So many learning lessons did not take. At least, at first.

One of those lessons was about engaging the universe on its own merits. Getting away from all the imagined threats that my mind can create (and the associated frustrations), I learned in caregiving that planting one’s feet firmly on the ground is a sensible response. This is where living takes place.

Shell Shocked

Living in today’s decidedly turbulent times, we are witness to a spectrum of coping methods among our fellow human beings. From constructive pragmatic empathy to thoroughly destructive nihilist approaches, people have been trying on a variety of behaviors.

Perhaps there have been too many to choose from.

In my work with young adults, I am observing what may best be described as overwhelmed individuals. People of an age when personalities and lifestyles are tried on as the child inside attempts to develop their eventual uniqueness.

Growing up during less unsettled times, I had numerous mentors and situations to hone who I was to become. Caregiving was just a baptism of fire that forged the fully adult version.

With so many loud and violent directions people are being pulled these days, so many options are being offered with a hard sell date. (If you do not join/think like us, we will threaten your existence.) The proverbial “offer you can’t refuse”.

Real Effects

Many of these ideologies competing for our subscription operate in a make believe world (where human nature does not exist), yet the sales pitches still have an effect on vulnerable personalities.

As with any opportunistic infection, the young and the old are usually the most vulnerable. While the oldsters fly “their” flags and protest their side of any argument, the younger generation (at least part of it) appears to have grown strangely quiet. Quiet, not out of strength, but out of fear.

If you have not experienced the “gen z stare”, it is a very disquieting exchange. To hold a conversation with a young person, only to have them stop speaking and just pleasantly smile at you. They just shut down while still maintaining eye contact.

Since all of us are regularly bombarded by aggressive conversation (thanks social media!), it is understandable to withdraw from interaction. It is still creepy, though.

Own Terms

I sometimes reflect on my experiences growing up and have come to know my Dad as the wonderfully flawed human that all of us are. I have come to understand that he was doing the best with what he had. Sometimes it is the weakness of the father that creates the strength of the son. Our elders do not have all of the right answers in life, but we can choose to learn from them anyway.

Opting out of conversation seems to be a less constructive response to a tough world, but then, I do not have all of the answers either. Maybe younger generations are onto something. In the meantime, I still think engagement and interaction with others are worth the price of admission, though younger people will come to their own conclusions in their own time.

Wishing them well.