Perspective is often the difference between just another day and one that is running off of the rails. With caregiving responsibilities foremost, we need to look at how we do things every once in a while and see if some things can be upgraded a bit.
For me, taking a fresh look means sometimes literally looking at thing differently. I remember taking an Art class in college where artistic expression was encouraged but we were to be challenged by the subject matter. For anyone who has tried to draw or paint the human face, this is a big challenge. So much of how we understand and communicate with our world is through faces. So of course in this class, we were tasked with reproducing a famous portrait. We could do the painting in any colors we wanted, but we had to draw and paint the face accurately.
After the collective groan went up from the class, the magic began to happen. Well, not really magic. We were shown a way to create a painting a face that didn’t look like some second grader’s poorest effort.
We turned the picture upside-down.
All of a sudden all of those familiar facial contours just turned into lines and shadows, which is what they really were all along. As we associate personality and experience with faces, the meanings of the faces change for us but in truth, they are still just faces. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Turning Things Upside-down
A friend of mine is caring for her Mom at home, with all of the joys and challenges that Mom’s Alzheimer’s has to offer. My friend’s regular posts on social media document the true life elements of both the disease process and the caregiving required. Finding the funny side of events is my friend’s forte.
Using the hashtag “#mommoment”, she documents the Mom incidents and respectfully moves to where the import isn’t nearly so heavy. From comically innocent complaints about the sky (tonight’s full moon just doesn’t look right) to questionable clothing choices (from mismatched outfits to wearing heavy winter clothes in the middle of summer), the challenges are gently documented. The circumstances are brutally real but presented as to make them something manageable. The love of a daughter for a mother is fully present in every word.
Saying goodbye is something we all truly wish we could skip. Saying goodbye is also something we become very good at doing. What better way than to say goodbye than with a smile for what we have shared.
So the next time the moon is reportedly late again or the artificial flowers have been rearranged by the window to give them more light, turn the situation upside-down and find the smile that lives within each occasion. I guarantee that when you have opportunity to look back on them someday, it will be the smile you remember. It will be the smile that you will always need.
Dad's Back 