I wrote myself a note. “Where did the stories of courage go?”
After over 2 years of being distracted by the spread of fear by our leadership and media, the motivations of those speakers are now becoming clear to see.
The caregiving experience puts our feet squarely on the ground, for the most part. We are the anchor in a wholly disorganized situation. When others give vent to their emotions and go screaming down the hall, we would really love to join in.
But we don’t.
A cooler sense of crisis management takes hold, and we work the situation. Contrast this with some of these national conversations and you see why many of us are tired of the drill.
Heroics and Humility
True heroic actions of the past few years are unnumbered and were not performed for an audience. This selfless nature reflects the true courage it takes to perform such acts.
After observing public officials congratulating themselves so frequently, I realized that the stories of real courage have been crowded out of public view. Our conversations have started revolving around trending opinions and pseudo-stories in social media, instead of talking about and celebrating ourselves.
We really did it!
We have just come through a worldwide pandemic in which millions of people have died. Everyone’s life has been directly influenced by the pandemic and the related decisions of our leaders. Yet our conversational worries are about childish concerns of whether we like someone or their politics?
I think we are missing the point.
You’re Grounded, Young Man
Instead of the concerns of our adolescence, like popularity and other peer pressures, the caregiver in me looks forward to the eventual pendulum swing back towards conversation instead of opinion. The ability of people to come together, recognize each other, and work towards the common goals of everyday living. No more injection of the emotional insecurities of some vocal interest groups.
Life is too short.
To recognize the everyday courage of people to handle family crises with as much grace as they can muster. These are the heroes of the world. We know these people. They are the ones who manage the unmanageable without complaint or fanfare.
These are the tales I look forward to hearing again.
Squirrels
Part of the caregiving experience is filtering and managing emotions – both your own and the emotions of others around you. As others go running up and down the corridors of passions, we have a choice. We can engage their feelings and join in, or we can just let them run on their own.
In athletic parlance, this is known as letting the squirrelly ones go. Competitors who demonstrate erratic behavior to the extent that other athletes leave them alone because it is safer.
We have a responsibility to others but not for them. Recognizing that we have a choice in such matters is immensely empowering. Deciding it is time to pull up our adult underwear and go be a grownup is a wise, though not always fun, choice.
This is probably a good definition of what it means to be an adult. Imagine that. Please.
“Strength is about how you show up. It requires you to choose what energy and action you want to bring to a given situation. At its heart, Strength is about self-management. It’s not about controlling your emotions—it’s about honoring them and choosing what you do next. It’s hard to stay in control and get yourself off autopilot. It takes a lot of Strength to move through the world with more thoughtfulness and intention. And sometimes it requires a heavy lift!”
― Darcy Luoma
Dad's Back 