I’m often concerned that I’m becoming a cynic. A “been there, seen that” attitude is easy to develop, especially when you get to witness so many people on their bad days. Indifferent healthcare workers, difficult business workers, bad drivers, etc. To invest some of my precious personal energy in someone who not willing to meet me anywhere near a halfway point seems useless.
Then I remember when I lived where they are right now.
It’s a deep well and they likely feel as though they are in over their head. The claustrophobia of worries, task lists, and anything else your mind can conjure up is spiritually suffocating. All you see is shadows and you are sinking but like any addict, you can’t seem to let go of the things, people and situations that are sinking you at the moment.
Then you find bottom and the journey back upwards begins.
Our Strange Times
The pandemic has thrust everybody into a survival mode and we have responded in predictable fashion. The more frightened we become, the more often we express that fear as anger.
The fear is across the board too. From the people we see at the grocery store to our government and business leaders, people are scared and they are showing it. Of course it is more than a little disappointing to see such poor judgement and behavior from our leaders but it does reflect our truer natures. No one is exempt, no matter their title or pay in society.
Sort of refreshing, really. Like imagining the audience with no clothes on as a method of overcoming anxiety at public speaking. Gotta keep finding those humorous points in life.
The Veteran Attitude
If you study Biology or listen to non-government doctors, you know that we have understood from the beginning the approximate progression of COVID-19 through the world population. There are number of realities that we’ve known but many have been trying hard to hope they go away.
Wishing still doesn’t make it so.
The virus is with us for good, mutating into newer versions over the coming years. A lot of people will be sickened by the infection and some will die.
With such information on our doorstep, is it any wonder people are panicking and running for places to hide?
I think there is an alternative.
For me, I like to fall back on my pragmatic thinking from caregiving and educate myself in the Science of the crisis at hand. Any overly emotional response certainly gives vent to those fears that we all feel. Uncertainty and a possibility of death are very disquieting to the soul but we always have a choice.
I will choose my own battles and face my fears on my own terms. Giving in to fear and acting out in public is a choice, just not mine.
Cutting Some Slack
As caregivers, we recognize the panic for what it is. A reflection of a difficult place from which there is not always a clear-cut escape. Like the chimp whose hand was stuck when trying to retrieve a piece of fruit from a narrow-necked vessel. Not wanting to let go is what captured the animal. To escape, all he had to do was let go of the fruit and remove his hand from the jar.
In the same way, many people have grasped onto groups and ideas that capture them and do not allow them to experience the world outside of those narrow definitions. The only way to grow is to let go.
As we continue to encounter the frightened public and the even more frightened leaders pushing the fear message, step back and see the message and messengers for what they are. These are all people who find themselves in a wholly unwanted position.
Our job is to support these individuals as they struggle. We can’t solve their problems for them, like no one else could manage that bottom point we experienced. Be there for them. Leave the cynicism at home. Taking up the other person’s argument goes nowhere.
“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.”
― Lily Tomlin
Dad's Back 