Your sense of humor is by far the strongest skill you bring to your care-giving. It diffuses stressful situations, brightens another person’s day, and it reminds you that you really aren’t superman/woman when you keep thinking you should be.
As caregivers, the biological cards are stacked somewhat against us. The higher stress we traffic in has been linked to the increased incidence of chronic debilitating diseases, like Diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and even mental illness. It’s a good thing we know how to soldier on in the face of adversity.
No Martyrs Needed Here
We tend to beat the odds by changing the ground rules that those gloomy studies were based upon. We are learning to take care of ourselves as we take care of others. Finding the humor in our situations is just one powerfully Healthy way of coping.
I remember waiting in the oncologist’s office, with all of the other patients and their caregivers, while my wife underwent chemotherapy several years ago. There were older people, younger people, people with money and others with not so much. We had all met on the level playing field of cancer. The fact that there were so many people in that office on any given day wakes you up to a reality of cancer in our society today.
Anyway, you would think that such a gathering would have been somber but I witnessed more positive behaviors than I have seen anywhere in life. The self-deprecating jokes were non-stop as the group embraced the realities they faced. (It was like open auditions for a Coen brothers movie about the dark humor of cancer.) Nobody was fooling around though. Everyone knew exactly what we were laughing about but the alternative was to give in to the shadows that lurked all around all of us. Maybe it was partly whistling past the graveyard but the laughter was as real as it can get. I have never felt as connected to a room full of strangers as I did then.
So keep things light. It is a Healthy adaptation to difficult times. Along with the other things you do to care for your self (think: exercise, nutritious food, rest, and hydration), have a good laugh on a regular basis – especially if it is with the person for whom you are caring. Laughter reminds us that we are not the conditions for which we are being treated but people with conditions. At the end of the day, it is our humanity that should win out.
One of the most spiritual things you can do is embrace your humanity. Connect with those around you today. Say, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you”…whatever you’re feeling. Send random texts, write a cute note, embrace your truth and share it…cause a smile today for someone else…and give plenty of hugs.
― Steve Maraboli
Dad's Back 