Funny the connections we develop as caregivers. Whether to other people or discovering things about ourselves, a lot happens when we engage the challenge of helping others. The funny weird part is we may not discover these changes until long after the events have passed. At least I didn’t.
It All Started With a Cat
Aunt Colleen was a cat person, to be sure. Generally just one or two cats at a time but a cat person nonetheless. Some furry creatures to spoil and keep her company.
About a year before her passing, Aunt Col rescued a large Maine Coon (aren’t they all large?) from the local shelter. Penny lived up to the hallmarks of the breed in terms of temperament. She was one of the most laid-back and mellow cats I’ve met.
When Aunt Col passed away, we added Penny and another of her cats to our growing menagerie of cats and dogs at home. As time passed, the numbers of creatures naturally declined until Penny was the last one left of the original gang.
Finally Seeing Connections
As to be expected with animals, mourning their loss just becomes part of life experience. Penny’s health declined and she quietly curled up underneath the bed one day and died. Having seen the signs in her declining health, we had already planned arrangements, so when the time arrived, there would be little left undecided.
My resulting grief however, turned out to be tougher than I thought. I chided myself for falling apart over just a pet but reflection on the matter showed up connections to other losses.
The cat was the last living connection to both Aunt Col and Dad (they died within a couple of years of each other) and I was finally having to let go of the baggage I had been holding onto from those two deaths. (Boy, grief is the process that just keeps on giving.) Thoughts and feelings that I just hadn’t finished because of that living feline link to the people I had lost, started bubbling up. With the link gone, I could work through some of the residual emotions and continue my healing.
I won’t call it closure because the connections don’t always make sense and answer our questions. They are sometimes just there. I won’t call it closure mostly because I don’t know that we ever completely finish the process. I just call it living a life and stay on the lookout for future opportunities to grow again.
For that is what this is all about. Learning hard lessons, fuzz-faced cats who steal your heart, and becoming the person you’ve needed to become.
“Your life will always be the perfect classroom journey for you and every experience that shows up in your journey is here to serve you. There is meaning and purpose behind everything that happens. There are no accidents which means your suffering through difficulties is never for nothing. Your life matters and everything you experience matters. Your trials are there to help you become a better person and trusting this is truth will take some of the sting out of them. Suffering becomes more bearable if it at least counts for something.”
― Kimberly Giles
Dad's Back 