Stepping into the role of caregiver changes you.
Who you are remains but it is refined and amplified in ways that tie you ever closer to people and Life around. You grow as a human being.
During a grieving period, I spent time reflecting on the events that had brought me to that place. To consider circumstances without an emotional filter was a luxury I had had not afforded myself during the years of care-giving. I knew I had grown but wasn’t real sure of what exactly had changed. This is what came into focus:
You are much stronger than you think.
You find that you are so much more capable than you ever thought. You develop a quiet strength than lasts well beyond any crises you handled. You really are powerful.
You do make a difference in the Life of someone else.
No matter what you did or did not do, you did well and you made a difference. At the end of the day, wasn’t that what we all set out to do?
Optimism remains a large part of who you are.
Though there are times where you are hard-pressed to remember why you got into this mess anyway, you find the strength to pick up and carry on another day. Along the way, you can still find things to laugh about and wonders to behold. Life isn’t always peachy but it’s always good for throwing in some of those special moments that make you pause and smile.
The experience of care-giving is a positive one.
You may not believe this while engaged in the tasks at hand but at the end of the process, you know that you have learned and contributed in very real ways. You did good.
Learning how to let go of unimportant things and toxic people.
This is probably one of the hardest lessons but when we learn to find objectivity in a highly emotional situation, we can think and make reasoned decisions. When you start to recognize the things and people that only confound a difficult situation, cutting them loose is one of the healthiest things you can do.
When you have to fight, you make sure of your commitment, then you fully engage the battle.
Suffering fools is no longer in my repertoire. There is just something about unreasonable people and indifferent institutions that bring out the fight in me now. Not fighting for the emotional thrill but with a purpose.
These are a few of the larger discoveries I have made. There are many more.
If you have developed insights from your experiences, please feel free to share in the comments section below. We are all in this together.
“You can do anything, but not everything.”
– David Allen
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