“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie
Remember how the phrase “Thank you for sharing” started off as a sincere and mature response? It was not critical (as in no value judgement) but an honest response to information that was being offered. I liked how it cut through to the truth of the exchange and no one was made wrong in the process.
After the loss of my father and my best friend, both strong male role models in my life, I went through the regular phases of grief but afterwards, there was something still nagging. Something was unfinished. My relationships with both men were still changing. I needed to talk. I wasn’t turning into some tortured Hamlet character – I just missed these guys. So I thought I’d do something – share.
Now I am not sure how the counseling community views such behavior but I talk with the dead. Sometimes out loud, sometimes internally, but always with the conversational voice I used when the departed were around. It becomes a comforting problem solving tool. In much the same way as when they were alive, I work through my thoughts and somewhere in that monologue, I can find the solution to my questions.
So the point I want to make is keep yourself open to different ways of coping. We are incredibly resilient and creative beings. You will find the ways that best meet your support needs just by working on them. It’s not one size fits all, so go find what works for YOU.
Peace.
Hal
Dad's Back 